[There's a bed and that happens to pull double duty as a couch.
Rolling a shoulder only marginally addresses the tension. Cloud rests a hand against the Buster Sword propped up against the wall, steadying himself with an inhale. In through the nose, out through his mouth.]
I thought about it. What's been going on. What you told me.
[The last time they stood in this apartment.]
Got something to say. I'm not sure where to start.
His one consolation is the Unnamed City is seriously neglected, it isn't full of people, so there's some privacy, even outside of that small, sparce apartment.]
...... You-
[Shaking his head, he presses on.]
You said it yourself. Before. My memory's unreliable.
[He thought about it for days, convinced himself he'd packaged it up, everything he wanted to say, all nice and neat. That it wouldn't be like this, when it came down to it.
Except here's the thing. Someone could say "In the end, it's still Cloud", but given everything that he's come to understand the last few days, he's come to question how much of him is actually "Cloud".]
I didn't recognize Zack. You, too.
It's like there's these- [His exhale is, again, frustrated.]
[that silence goes on a lot longer than he'd like.]
These lives inside me. That don't always line up.
[Things he remembers doing. Things he remembers doing even when they contrast with other things he remembers doing, things that belonged to someone else. Or to Zack.
Then there are the other things, those brief flashes, that are at once familiar and... unfamiliar, that evoke such a profound response in him that it's hard to dismiss them as anything other than real.]
[ he can't begin to imagine what it's like for him, so he won't.
maybe he should have lent cloud his ears more often back on gaia, but he was still coming to terms with his own life and then, well, deepground happened. ]
[Articulating just this much has been an ordeal. Assembling something that makes sense? Out of everything he's learned and felt and thought in the last few weeks? That's a big ask.]
We're friends, right.
[Cloud hates how he hears Zack echoing out of his own mouth, not because of his admiration for Zack, but because he's seeing what he's built himself up to be in a different light, realizing how much of that was based on some... elevated ideal of SOLDIER, of Zack, of-]
[ truthfully, he... didn't expect cloud to come to him this quickly — to discuss what's going on with his mind. vincent figured that he would need more time, to deal with it on his own. it's significant progress that he's even trying right now, even if he's backpedaling quite a bit. he can understand though.
it's never easy to talk about one's own afflictions and, for that, cloud is far braver than he is. ]
[There's not a whole lot to distract himself with here and there's only so much clearing debris and slap-shod repair attempts he can do without tools and materials better than scrap. Left with nothing but time to think, even someone like Cloud will try to find respite or resolution.
He's also really short on allies. Going it alone as long as he had, the irony that he grew used to company enough to miss it isn't lost on him.
With furrowed brows, crossed arms, and even fewer words, Cloud's answer is just]
it seems all the inactivity has given cloud a little too much time to think. but to be fair to him, he isn't familiar with vincent or aware of what type of relationship they have in the future. it's still a needless train of thought though. ]
[He can't help questioning it. Not when the recognition had been so one-sided at first. Just like Cloud can't help recognizing that the conclusion he comes to isn't exactly fair to Vincent (and that some part of him, nameless as the city, the island, takes him so easily at his word that they're friends, like this fact lives inside him devoid of all evidence).
His silence lasts for a long period before Cloud at last chooses to lean against a crumbling partition between a residence and a thoroughfare.]
[Found him? Vincent, that's begging for this kind of follow up question.]
Where? When? [He exhales in a frustrated huff. He can't know because it hasn't happened to him yet, is that it? So why is he so aware of where Vincent is at this moment, why care at all, why feel on any level a kind of... steadiness when he's around?]
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Rolling a shoulder only marginally addresses the tension. Cloud rests a hand against the Buster Sword propped up against the wall, steadying himself with an inhale. In through the nose, out through his mouth.]
I thought about it. What's been going on. What you told me.
[The last time they stood in this apartment.]
Got something to say. I'm not sure where to start.
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his full attention is on cloud now, crimson hues trained onto him. ]
You don't have to be shy with me. Speak your mind.
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WOW.
Shut up Vincent don't call his ass out he just met you. smh he can't even use the "don't talk like you know me" argument.]
.......
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what did he just say ]
Do you need some time alone?
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yeah, he's following behind u quietly. he may or may not be smiling vaguely, but your turned back will never let u see it now. ]
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turn around, u chocobo head. ]
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Ever occur to you you're an asshole?
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Yes.
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Forget it.
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I can't.
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His one consolation is the Unnamed City is seriously neglected, it isn't full of people, so there's some privacy, even outside of that small, sparce apartment.]
...... You-
[Shaking his head, he presses on.]
You said it yourself. Before. My memory's unreliable.
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he gives an affirmative nod. ]
I did.
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Except here's the thing. Someone could say "In the end, it's still Cloud", but given everything that he's come to understand the last few days, he's come to question how much of him is actually "Cloud".]
I didn't recognize Zack. You, too.
It's like there's these- [His exhale is, again, frustrated.]
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he is nothing but patience, so go on and collect your thoughts. he'll wait. ]
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These lives inside me. That don't always line up.
[Things he remembers doing. Things he remembers doing even when they contrast with other things he remembers doing, things that belonged to someone else. Or to Zack.
Then there are the other things, those brief flashes, that are at once familiar and... unfamiliar, that evoke such a profound response in him that it's hard to dismiss them as anything other than real.]
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maybe he should have lent cloud his ears more often back on gaia, but he was still coming to terms with his own life and then, well, deepground happened. ]
Explain them to me.
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We're friends, right.
[Cloud hates how he hears Zack echoing out of his own mouth, not because of his admiration for Zack, but because he's seeing what he's built himself up to be in a different light, realizing how much of that was based on some... elevated ideal of SOLDIER, of Zack, of-]
Whatever you're expecting, forget it.
[Zack's Cloud...
Vincent's Cloud...
He'll only let them down.]
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it's never easy to talk about one's own afflictions and, for that, cloud is far braver than he is. ]
What do you think I'm expecting?
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He's also really short on allies. Going it alone as long as he had, the irony that he grew used to company enough to miss it isn't lost on him.
With furrowed brows, crossed arms, and even fewer words, Cloud's answer is just]
A different me.
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it seems all the inactivity has given cloud a little too much time to think. but to be fair to him, he isn't familiar with vincent or aware of what type of relationship they have in the future. it's still a needless train of thought though. ]
I'm not.
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His silence lasts for a long period before Cloud at last chooses to lean against a crumbling partition between a residence and a thoroughfare.]
How did we meet?
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You found me. [ a pause and then: ] I was... asleep for a long time and you woke me up.
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Where? When? [He exhales in a frustrated huff. He can't know because it hasn't happened to him yet, is that it? So why is he so aware of where Vincent is at this moment, why care at all, why feel on any level a kind of... steadiness when he's around?]
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